Happy Easter!

Ours was a quiet Easter. We attended church; Grammy and Papa Dahl even attended with us. Caleb and Josh both fell asleep during service. Bless their little hearts. Caleb wanted to hold my hand as he fell asleep. Josh fell asleep for Papa as he was rocked gently in his carseat/carrier.
After service, since Caleb was now awake and ready to get moving, Mike and he ate and then went swimming. I'm told that they had a very very good time. After 2 hours, Caleb was finally able to be convinced that it was time to go. Grammy and Papa Dahl joined in for the swim as well. And while they were off swimming, Josh and I spent some one on one time and then took a nap. Then it was the family dinner at Grammy and Papa's.

One on one time with Josh is my new goal, and prioritizing him and making him feel secure. However, it is very, very hard and contrary to my other goal of trying to make him sleep by himself; the training to do that requires "furber-izing", i.e. "crying it out" These are 2 very important goals, but they are working opposite of each other. Not letting him feel abandoned by spending more time one on one, but leaving him alone where he feels abandoned to figure out how to fall asleep on his own... sigh. I think I've waited too long to furber-ize, and I've tried so hard not to let Caleb feel replaced and less important that the pendulum has swung too far the other way and Josh wasn't apporpriately prioritized thus creating a situation I need to correct and recover Josh from. I've created my own monster of a situation. The light on the other side of the tunnel is: a secure happy baby who falls asleep on his own and sleeps in his own bed ALL through the night! I've got to keep my eyes on the goal for every nap I furberize Josh... because it is hard to hear the little baby cry and know if I just lay down next to him for 5 minutes he will fall asleep. But since I don't want to have to lay down next to him EVERY time he needs to sleep I can't break my committment the goal. Love is tough.

Ok, enough mommy philosophy.

I knew that I would forget some details about our California trip. One of the big things that we did was Grandma and Papa Bishop went to Teddy Crafters (similar to our Build-a-Bear) and had a stuffed animal made for Josh. Instead of a Teddy Bear, Josh came out with a very soft tri-color puppy. He has a red satin heart symbolizing Love, he has pretty blue custom chosen eyes, a certificate marking the event and naming him Ziggy. But the best is the recording inside that Grandma Bishop made saying that she and Papa and Jesus loves Josh. Now each of the boys have a talking reminder of the love Grandma and Papa Bishop send them all the way from California.

Ok, time to get packed up and ready for playgroup. I'm eager to get Caleb back into the routine of seeing kids twice a week and visiting Grammy Dahl too. He's excited too, but he told me today that he didn't want them to see him so he was going to close his eyes. Ostrich theory I guess. But we are going to go. And as I look outside, I enjoying the beautiful sunny with the long range goal/hope of walking in it if naps etc work out. Well, there's always hope. Talk later.