Monday---
Home and sick.
Jockey is congested, runny nose and coughing.
Caleb has a 101.2 temp last night at 6, so no school today. He's pale, coughing, and moving slower.
I've also had to cancel his parent/teacher conference and am waiting on the reschedule date. As it turns out (without telling me, so it feels like an ambush) there were going to be other people involved in the parent teacher conference, the principal &/or the school psychologist, maybe the school counselor too, with the intent of further discussing Caleb's retention for next year. I'm glad that the retention issue is going forward, but I hate ambushes, and there has been ample amounts of time to tell me who will be added to the parent-teacher conference. So perhaps I showed my cards a bit too much when I said that if this one lady that I've come in contact with before is the psychologist, then I don't want her there and prefer the principal. I didn't like the way she stood between my son and I; nearly an anti-family vibe from her. Perhaps this is a adversarial approach, but I view this as a battle. And as a strategy, I have to take out the opposition one by one and the "easy" way with a simple request first. I can deal with those people who don't force my hackles up on sight. So now the meeting will be rescheduled, and hopefully with people whom I've dealt pleasantly with in the past and feel truly have Caleb and his family's interests in their sights.
Caleb and I had to have a talk today about no adult at school gets to have a meeting/conference/talk with him without me knowing. Our family is a team, they aren't always on our side, especially if they don't understand Jesus and follow our Bible. Mom and Dad are going to be with him and on his team long after he leaves the 6th grade where as they are not. They will try to be sneaky in their questions and it is mom's job to fight for him and our team. It really was a revelation to him when I told him that Grandma Bishop had to have this same talk with mommy when she was little in school. Wow, for him; deja vu, for me. He is now to say "No meetings without my Mom, Call my Mom, I don't feel safe." (speak in their terminology and they might get it.)
My sick boys are playing Hungry Hippoes. I'm still fighting the getting of it with just a mild sore throat but I'm holding out hope that I won't get it full blown. We'll be staying close to home and resting trying to get better. So that's our day.
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About Me
- Krystal
- I'm a Christian, married 18 years, mom of 4. It's a Goldilocks, age 2, and the three Bears, ages 13,11,and 5, story here. And seriously, if she could talk better she would complain "this chair is too big, this chair is too soft" etc) . I work part time as a merchandiser. I'm blessed and honored to serve as the craft team lead for MOPS. And I'm COO of a new thing called Peace of Craft which is craft events where ladies to come and have fun, find conversation and make a planned project, most often KID FREE! Yeah, I know!. I'm constantly thinking about crafts. It's a gift God gave me and is calling me to use in various functions whether at MOPs, but also in Peace of Craft (look it up on Facebook), or as a craft consultant where I help others through their projects using my tools, supplies, and experience to get a nice result. I mom, chauffeur, referee, clean up kid messes, cook as best I can, coupon and do coupon teaches, attend Bible Study. It's a busy life, but whatever I do, it is by God and for God.
3 comments:
I think that it's wonderful that you stand up for your son, and that you have his best interests at heart. I don't know the teachers/school involved, so I can't speak for them, but I will say that as a teacher I may not have always agreed with parents 100% but I was also entrusted with the nurturing and teaching of the child(ren), and took my responsibility seriously as such. If a parent came in with an adversarial approach, it made it harder to communicate my positive desires for the child, and harder to reach agreement, and even harder to compromise when appropriate. I hope that in addition to teaching Caleb how to feel comfortable by saying if he doesn't feel safe, you can teach him that the teachers are on his side, and want what is good for him, as well. If he learns that lesson, he will do even better in the classroom, as he will feel comfortable with the adults entrusted to his care.
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As a non-Christian, and an (ex) teacher, and a loving parent, I guess I would simply add that the "Christian virtues" of kindness, compassion, honesty, caring, thoughtfulness, family togetherness and unity that are so important in our day to day living are also taught in education programs - the emphasis is on the child's well being. Just because the teachers and administrators aren't using a Christian-specific approach does not mean that they are not utilizing these values. It is within the teacher's best interests to work with the family as a whole, and to come to understanding with the family in a way that is accepting of the family's values, even while promoting the school's values, and it is my hope that there is a lot of middle ground there for your family and Caleb's school teachers et al. After all, you'll be together for another 13 years (K-12), and so hopefully the relationship can be genuine and strong.
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I want what is best for all of you, and I hope that all of you are able to reach a solid understanding and agreement.
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My deep love to you, the boys, and Mike. :-)
Krystal, I know you are caring, kind, thoughtful, honest, compassionate, intelligent, perceptive, and discerning. You have never gone into anything without weighing things carefully and with much prayer.
I admire you for your single-sightedness to keep the best interests of Caleb and Joshy as the focal point. There is no one who has the boys' best interest higher than you and Mike.
As you know, in spite of the "caring" of most teachers, it is still a job, a vocation and there is always a part of the professional that is required to adhere to what is delineated by their employers. There are many motivations at hand and your approach, while not adversarial, should never be one of naivety of how the system works.
There is no one knows your child better than you do. And, because you are an intelligent person who brings more to the table than just the fact that you bore the boys, you should be viewed as having the tools to make the best decision for Caleb and Joshua. It never ceases to amaze me how others seem to think they know better what is best for your children and require you to “ask permission” to make the best decision.
Because I know your approach has been and is respectful to others, the only time you will be seen as adversarial is when you stand for your parental rights. There are times in life, as you know, when standing up for what is a legal and moral right is not popular. Suddenly you are seen as though you are the one who is the adversary.
Remember, the purpose of school is to teach the fundamentals of English, mathematics, history, art, and music. It is not the job of the school to teach values. It is obvious that the values taught in school will be those that are once again outlined as “acceptable” and in compliance with the agenda of the school system. Any values should come from the parents. Because many parents have abdicated this responsibility, there are others who are more than happy to step in and teach their values. Unfortunately, because the values being taught must be palatable for everyone, there are no more absolutes and look where it has gotten us. (Look around, the end results of this approach are evident everywhere.)
You are there to reach consensus about Caleb's education, not to gain their personal approval. You will never have the approval of the world. So, hang in there. Caleb and Joshua will be stronger knowing they have your (you and Mike) support.
I love you and support you, Mike and the boys!
Mom Bishop
Good for you standing up for him! BTW, if this is a battle, you have THE MAN on your side. Couldn't get any better than Jesus! I'll be praying for healing!
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