Life doesn't always go as I've scheduled it, and when it doesn't I've found that I'm more frustrated than I need to be. And I just don't have the energy to be frustrated and heal and go on with the rest of life. Hence, I've made the decision that at least for the next week, the only thing that I'm going to try to accomplish with the new little boy is keep him fed and try to get some sleep and heal in between. Josh is so little and so tired, he's been sleeping all the time and I've been fighting it. So let him be, just keep him fed. He's so sweet and cuddly, not to mention patient. I should just be enjoying him anyways. I know I should have figured this out earlier.

Caleb was so precious today. As I held Josh today, Caleb came over and laid his shirt across Josh's back and ever so gently hugged Josh and then kissed his little head. I didn't have to prompt it or ask. And he said that he was sharing his shirt, and he left it there for a few minutes. You could almost see in his eyes the awareness that the future holds him giving up his shirt and he was ok passing it on to Josh... but not yet as he took it back a short time later for naptime. It was a moment to capture.

Caleb is also very insistent that he gets to help with Josh's diaper changes. He WANTS to climb up on the changer and watch with close attention, but I let him take the dirty, folded up diaper and throw it in the trash. He does very well. I'm so proud of him and his attitude. Although, I admit that with the cast on his arm, I often am hesitant to trust Caleb with the baby. I view the cast as the enemy to hurting the baby because jealously still might show up, or in Caleb's eagerness he might not be as gently as a newborn needs. I feel like I'm constantly on guard. Guarding them individually and from each other... I suppose should get used to it, they are siblings after all.

I'm also very proud of the vocabulary that Caleb is developing. He can explain what he wants and even comes up with new words that we haven't drilled into him, ones that maybe he's heard just once or twice in passing. He definitely explains every boo-boo and owie he ever gets. And I was pleasantly surprised when yesterday as I was on the phone, Josh woke up from a nap, Caleb came and told me that the baby was awake. Isn't that great?! He really is a help. Lord, please let this continue and grow.